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Third Culture Kid

by Heidi Li

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1.
What a fool I moved cautiously initially but slowly I resigned my whole heart totally Mistaken your persistence as sincerity Giving you what I seldom give Should have known A heart like yours has no love to share Your company left me lonelier than being alone Mistaken your coldness as shyness My melting heart got frozen and turns icy Affection is not something you learn but innate With love and care, Intimacy comes naturally It’s a matter of heart, not experience Since the first day you stamped an expiry date to our love To stop us from devoting to each other totally For a boy who just want to have a taste of love No willingness to become a loving and caring man Every kiss and touch Is just an experiment No romance nor tenderness How could we make love You acted like just a friend No one saw us as lovers With this coldness between us How could we make love Without passion It’s game over Should have known A heart like yours has no love to share Your company left me lonelier than being alone Mistaken your coldness as shyness My melting heart got frozen and turns icy Affection is not something you learn but innate With love and care, Intimacy comes naturally It’s a matter of heart It’s lack of presence not the lack of future that made me leave Without profound emotion, Intimacy comes awkwardly It’s a matter of heart, not experience
2.
Sto Qui 05:13
sto qui al angolo, mi scrivo, mi parlo e piango, sto qui intorno, scherzo, ti canto, ti sorrido fratello mio, sai quello che sento davvero? Nascondo tutto dentro Per non darti il peso del mio sentimento Sto qui, mi abituo ad essere delusa, così la delusione andrà via Sto qui, affetta il mio cuore, se il cuore morisse, non sentirei più male Fratello mio, sai quello che sento davvero? Nascondo tutto dentro Per non darti il peso del mio sentimento Son’ innamorata, ma sembro tranquilla teniamo una distanza di sicurezza Così, accetterò che non c’è stata mai la speranza se un giorno non avrai più paura di guarire la tua anima Sto qui, un bacio chiuderà una sospensione lunghissima Son’ innamorata, se sembro tranquilla Cercavo di essere ispirata Sto qui, capisco che non c’è stata mai la speranza Se un giorno non avrò più paura Di rischiare l’amicizia Sto qui, un bacio chiuderà una sospensione lunghissima
3.
Don’t blame me if I spend thirty minute answering this “Where are you from”, It’s not as straightforward as it seems Don’t ask me how many languages I speak I ain’t good at any, though I can get by impressing my friends with all those swear words they find it funny I’m a third culture kid no one culture can define my identity I am an awkward kid a passport cannot define where my home is I’m a third culture kid moving around the globe becomes a habit I am an awkward kid most of my best friends are as weird as me Don’t ask me in three-month’s time where will I be I’ve no idea, the world is huge there are millions of pos-si-bi-li-ties Don’t tell me that there is only one way to live after all these years, leading a nomad life, the greatest virtue that I’ve ever learnt is di-ver-si-ty Giving a hug to my long-time-no-see parents, they called me weird, and claim that it-s not a Chinese custom Moving my shoes off before entering British hous-es , they find me strange, it-s something I should not have done being proud of the Europeans and their wick-ed social welfare system, I am called a communist, well I just don’t know how to be one of us I’m a third culture kid no one culture can define my identity I am an awkward kid a passport cannot define where my home is I’m a third culture kid who loves all the authentic ethnic cuisines I am an awkward kid I have had boyfriends from all different nationalities
4.
Every this kind of day As usual we meet at the same old place It was empty as you were late Nervously longing to see your face The clock is ticking, My heart is pounding head is spinning, My hands are shaking And I am wondering Why my brain is frozen and I can speak no words Why my throat is soar and I sing no songs Why I daydream everyday to be hold in your arms just like her Coz you will never have a clue that it’s just another day I am secretly in love with you Another this kind of day I prepare to go to the same café Put on my lipstick to look great coz I pray you’d look my way The clock is ticking, My heart is pounding…… When she’s in your arms you stole my breath away with every magic note you play I am secretly in love with you….
5.
從小跟父母出外遊 培養出一顆好奇心 奔走多番誓到異國把夢尋 轉眼便十秋 回鄉的次數真罕有 和眾親相見最難得 跟爸媽擁抱怕佢地未必接受 話情意留在心 親不能親 相敬如賓 未能挽手 愛不開口 每次返港沖擊真多 兩代價值有隔幕 覺東方規矩多多 不夠豪放 慣了住在小小的村莊 意地美麗好風光 人情味道未淡薄 令人嚮往 情歌都未唱怎作樂 隨意高歌的確唔錯 編一首曲去伴奏異國的寂寞 驚世大作 精采人生 寫作情感 覓尋最真 動魄聲音 放棄 港式金曲K歌 轉用爵士為我拍和 配上聲腔跟芳腔 真夠豪放 節奏SWING得興起聲鏗鏘 遠在意地醉心唱 唱出地道的山歌 博拿獎/未曾失場 I cultivated my curiosity travelling abroad with my parents since a young age Decided early on to find my dream living in different countries In a blink of an eye, 10 autumns have passed It is always precious to see my family as I rarely go back to my hometown My parents are not comfortable with me hugging them As they are not used to express love this way Even within family, we are very reserve in showing affection I experience cultural shocks every time I go back to Hong Kong There seem to be a lot of taboos in the oriental culture Now I am so used to living in a small town in Italy where the scenery is beautiful and people are friendly and warm-hearted who doesn’t yearn for such life style? How can we enjoy ourselves without singing out loud? I write this song to accompany my loneliness being away from home Getting inspired by my splendid life and turn it into music No more Hong Kong pop songs for Karaoke But Jazz fusing with Chinese opera singing style Creativity has no boundaries Feel the beat, it is swinging I sing my whole heart in Italy all those local folk songs in dialects Hoping not to disappoint my audience!
6.
I came down as one of those strangers in the crowd to watch you and to give you all the applause and then the night was supposed to end you came to me next thing I know is that they’re all gone and we talked till dawn Under the moonlight it’s hard not to fall in the trap of confusion between attraction and pure admiration we talked till dawn in the empty cafè we’re both scared to fall in the trap of addiction to this kind of magical connection and mutual appreciation If outsiders claim that we are in love they are all wrong This feeling may be strong but it’s merely an illusion of our shared passion, nothing more

about

credits

released May 8, 2017

Heidi Li: Voice, Composition and Lyrics, Album artworks
Manuel Magrini: Keyboards
Ruggero Fornari: Guitars
Luca Giachi: Bass
Duccio Bonciani: Drums

Ivan Elefante: Trumpet
Lorenzo Bisogno: Sax
Paolo Acquaviva: Trombone
Miriam Fornari: Backing vocals

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Heidi Li Italy

I am a Hong Kong born NeoSoul/Pop/Jazz singer songwriter who grew up with a Chinese opera background. When I was 17 years old, I left home to study abroad in Canada, then the UK and then France. I am now studying Jazz in Italy, where I also perform in squares, music clubs, radio and TV with my band. I have also been active on YouTube, singing folk songs in different Italian dialects. ... more

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